“Padre!” implored one of our local tramps as I made my way into the papal basilica of St Paul’s Outside the Walls, which is just over the road from the Beda seminary, for my ordination. I felt ashamed as I had no coins to give as I hadn’t put any in my cassock pockets – I hadn’t thought I was going to need any money. Dressed like that it was natural that he took me for a priest, but I reflected, “Why, I’m not even a deacon, yet.” A second thought came almost instantly: the yet would be redundant in a couple of hours. The habit doesn’t make a monk or the collar a cleric, but they are a sign to the world of an inner change and a symbol of dedication. I was going to have to get used to being on display.
It had seemed a long journey, the last three years of it in seminary at Rome. There are, of course, ups and downs, moments of doubt and questioning, and worries, but I slept well the previous night and felt surprisingly relaxed. I felt that I was doing the right thing and it was the Lord’s will. No one is ordained unless it is clearly His will, and we all had to write a letter to our bishops asking to be ordained. Naturally this is of no avail if the seminary does not support the petition. We have known people refused. Archbishop John Wilson’s consent was the vital thing, of course, and fortunately it came as hoped for. He apparently had to write a “dimissorial letter” in Latin. As he wasn’t ordaining me himself, this was for Mark Davies, the bishop of Shrewsbury who was to ordain us, requesting him to do so and giving permission, but also to inform the local bishop, Jorge Bergoglio aka Pope Francis, of what was going on in his diocese. The Latin is required, it seems, for the bureaucrats in the diocese of Rome who won’t accept documents in funny foreign languages like English. At least a record of my ordination will be kept in Rome. A few days before, we all had to sign two documents solemnly and place them on the altar in the college chapel: one said we believed in the Creed, and we also promised to teach only what the Church teaches and not our own opinions.
We had had two practices for the ceremony in the two days before, which calmed anxieties. We also met bishop Mark. He was keen to meet all eight of us being ordained as he only knew Sean who is from his own diocese of Shrewsbury. He was warm and encouraging and put us all at ease. In total there were four of us for English dioceses, three for Ireland and one for Stockholm diocese which covers the whole of Sweden.
Ever since Infants’ School I have been very aware that with the initials AB I tend to come at the top of alphabetical lists. This meant I would be the first of the eight to go through the stages of the ceremony. “The others will look at me getting it wrong and not make my mistakes as a result,” I cynically said, but I shouldn’t have worried as the MC and bishop Mark’s secretary (a priest) did a thorough job of guiding us at all times, and I think I managed to get it all right – more or less.
The ordination was in the part of the vast basilica at the back between the tomb of St Paul, who is buried under the High Altar, and the Papal Throne in the apse right at the back. There is another altar here and the area is far bigger than St Stephen’s church in Welling, the wall is inscribed with a list of the bishops who were there in 1854 when the dogma of the Immaculate Conception was proclaimed in the basilica, and there are some wonderful mosaics with a gold background from the 12th century above, with Our Lord and the saints looking down, including St Andrew my own patron. So, the eight of us were there in the chapel of St Benedict putting on our albs for the ceremony and soon the appointed time came, and we went out to join the procession of clergy to the altar. There seemed to be an endless line of concelebrating priests going to the altar with the bishop, including quite a few from Southwark: Father Jeff Cridland and Monsignor Bill Saunders came especially for the occasion and Father David Howell and Father Craig Olaide who are studying in Rome were there too. An ordination takes place during the first part of a Mass so I will just point what is different. Early on there is a moment where you have to say “Present” when your name is called, and someone responsible for your formation – in this case the rector- has to testify that you are “worthy” to be ordained a deacon. Then we went up individually to the bishop to kneel before him, placing our hands between his, in order to pledge obedience. Then we collectively promised to remain celibate.
At this point everyone else kneels and we lay down on the floor as the choir sang the Litany of the Saints asking for their intercession. As the list is long and we all had a chance to add a few of our favourite saints, this takes quite a while, or so it seems when you are lying on the stone floor of a basilica. Then, one by one, we came to kneel before the bishop as he laid his hands on our head in silence, the moment of ordination. When we had all done this, the bishop said the prayer of ordination.
Having become deacons, we were now vested in dalmatics – Father Jeff and Monsignor Bill were tasked with this. As we didn’t at first realise there was a zip, it was a bit of a struggle, but I wasn’t the last to finish. After that, we went up one by one to receive symbolically the gospel – as you kneel, the bishop offers you the book of the gospels and you touch it. Then it was on with the liturgy of the eucharist, and we stood around the altar for the first time. Soon we were processing out to the cloister for the photos then back across the road for lunch and the reception.
You can see all the photos by clicking on this link, https://www.flickr.com/photos/137459279@N08/sets/72177720299825944/
A report and Bishop Mark Davies’ homily are here, http://www.dioceseofshrewsbury.org/news/bishop-of-shrewsbury-ordains-eight-deacons-from-beda-college-in-rome
A German tourist who just happened to be visiting the basilica told the rector that the ceremony was one of the most moving things she had ever seen. I’m sure the setting is impressive, but she mentioned how she was touched by seeing us pledge to dedicate our lives to God’s service rather than the architecture.
Some weeks later it is still sinking in. I have already preached a few times and I was deacon at a Catholic Mass in Canterbury cathedral on the 7th of July which was a great privilege. And yes, there is a sense that life has changed forever in some way. Next year when I become a priest, God willing, will mark a new beginning – ordination is the start of a new life not the end of a process – and in the meanwhile there is the adventure of being a deacon. I pray I may never be a barrier to people, rather a sort of gateway opening to the grace of God. We can do nothing by ourselves, but if we cooperate with God, He is free to use us for His purposes. Please continue to pray for all of us who are in formation.